It’s under four minutes long.  You could do a lot worse. 


Imagine living life having to believe that if you don’t get everything right, God will subject you to an eternity of conscious torment.

“No,” certain theologies say, “you don’t have to get everything right. Just the one thing.”

“So, as long as I don’t get the one thing wrong, I’m good?”

“Yes,” they say. “And if you get it wrong, you’re doomed to eternal torment. You know, because God is good. Because God is just.”

“Right….” you say.

“The thing you have to believe, well, really, it’s a series of things, a box set, if you will, but it’s predicated on believing a certain other set of things first.”

“Two sets of things?”

“Right, but it’s all one thing. We know that because the first set tells us so.”

“The Bible, you mean?”

“Yes. Well, no. Not exactly. You have to believe a certain set of claims *about* the Bible before you can believe the Bible the way God needs you to. So God doesn’t have to send you to hell.”

“And that’s all in the Bible?”

“Yes, and I know that because a bunch of theologians and belief systems outside of the Bible tell me so.”

“That sounds like I have to believe a third set of things.”

“Maybe I can simplify it. All you have to do is believe a bunch of things about what the Bible is, and then believe very specific readings of the text, and then, basically, you’re good. Like I said, you just have to get the one thing right. If you get that right, you are free from the curse.”

“What curse?”

“Adam and Eve.”

“Go on…”

“Well, see, they only had to get one thing right….”

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